A video uploaded today at 5 AM is breaking the internet. There is only one question all over social media. Who are these girls… brutally beating up three guys late into the night? And what condition were the boys in that they succumbed to the beating up so easily? 50 rupees extra? As per prepaid shouldn’t it be Rs. 240? I charge extra if you use the GPS route. You should at least pay this much Just because I am new to the city you are trying to cheat me? Why would I cheat? Why would you say something like that? Thank you madam! Sorry!! What a bitch!!! So my dear, you’ll have to pay two months rent as security And a month’s rent… And the total comes up to… 47,000. Medicine cotton and band-aid add another 120 rupees to the total. So total Rs. 47,120. Let me give you a discount of Rs.120 Just pay a round figure. Rs. 47,000. Why don’t you count the money my darling? After you’re done with the medicine. Aunty, your money. You need help with your luggage? If you want, I will get it delivered only for Rs. 150. No thank you. I will manage Hello Aunty! Sorry!! But who the hell are you? Aunty, myself Bikas Kumar Mishra. Bikas with a ‘B’… B as in Bombay. I am from Delhi University. St. Stephens College. Sanskrit Hons? Wow! How do you know? I have been running this PG in North Campus for the last 25 years. Honey I can count the feathers of a flying bird and I can tell you which route will it take over North Campus to poop. Aunty, you are very smart and funny too. Your entire personality is very ‘intellectual’ Really? And you? How are you related to Pooja? I am Pooja’s cousin, I mean distant cousin. Alright then, carry your sister’s luggage upstairs. Sure Aunty. You duffer, put that glass down. Thank you aunty Sorry I got late The college mess was serving chicken today. Should I tell your mother? You keep eating chicken only. I fell down. The suitcase has wheels. Why the hell are you picking it up? New model? Nice!!! Have you loaded it with bricks and stones? Oh god I am already breathless. Did I call you to crack your silly jokes Bikas Bhaiya? Had I known there was so much luggage I would have called my squad. I have so many fans in Delhi University. They will kill each other to help me. This PG has been home to several IAS, IPS officers and even famous starlets. And guess what?! In the 90s Imitiaz bhai’s girlfriend also used to stay here. Imtiaz bhai? Imtiaz Ali. That famous Bollywood filmmaker from Hindu College. The one who has directed “Rockstar” “Jab We Met” Seriously, Bikas Bhaiya? Tell me something Pooja. Why do you call me Bhaiya? I am only one year older than you, right? One year senior! Have you forgotten about your three years in Kota when you were preparing for entrance exams? You don’t need to announce that on a loudspeaker. Hi New PG, right? That room on your right is our room. I am anti-left. So, right bed side is mine and left will be yours. Bro, you have a bike right? Can you drop me to the metro station please? Fuck man, I am really late. Let’s go!!! Let’s go dude! What are you waiting for? By the way I am Meghna and you are? But isn’t Meghna an Indian name? Oh shit! I can’t afford to lose it Who the fuck told you to touch my stuff? But what happened? What are you looking for? Oh man, I can’t lose it Are you looking for this? Oh yes, yes! Do you even know what this is? Research on my first story… 20 medical benefits of consuming weed Have you ever tried weed? By the way… what do you mean by Meghna being an Indian name? That’s because because..hmm.. you look a little.. Chinese? Which village are you from? I am not from a village. I am from a city. Muzaffarpur. Our Shahi litchees are world-famous. Have you even tried them? No And you? I am from Manipur Now, don’t ask me where Manipur is. I know I know I have known the capitals of all Indian states by heart since I was 8 Manipur’s capital is Imphal. What’s in that box? Wanna try? This is so yummy. What is it? Thekuwa A very famous dish from our home state. We usually eat it with pickle but I forgot to bring it. Wait Try it with these pickles. Now what is this? Twaithu A famous pickle from our home state. Try, no! It smells weird. Okay then. Don’t eat. Oh hi! New maid? Hi Debbie. Which part of the world did you conquer today? Debjani, that’s my name. Or Deb. Ya okay… Debjani Ghosh. I just won an inter-college debate on ‘Orange is not the new black’. You won’t understand. Who is this new dame by the way? That’s Pooja, our new PG-mate. Pooja, this is Debbie aka Debjani Ghosh. Social media queen. You must have read her small little tweets on big topics. But I am not on Twitter. I just use WhatsApp and Google for chatting. That too once in a while. Wow, then you must be a genius! How much did you score in your 12th? 94 percent. And even then you managed a seat in DU? Wow! I have got admission in MIRANDA HOUSE! Maths Hons. Maths? Miranda house? Got admission under quota? What’s your name? Pooja. What’s your full name? Pooja Prakash What kind of agnostic surname is that? Where are you from? Muzaffarpur Muzaffarpur as in where the riots broke out in 2013. It’s in Uttar Pradesh right? That was Muzaffarnagar Muzaffarpur. In Bihar. Shahi litchee from our place is world famous. Oh yeah, I should have guessed it with the way you speak. Are you the Bihar Board topper? What were your subjects? Cooking in Prodigal Science? Quite a weirdo, huh? Lesser than you Debbie. You are incorrigible. So are you. Pooja!!! Oye… You crazy lady! Are you crying over what that pompous idiot said? I am the school topper. I got 94% and in best of four subjects I got 96.75%. And what was she saying? I got admission under quota? She will get two tight slaps from me. Joker! Oh my, such anger!!! You look sweet though. I know what I look like… A bumpkin. I don’t want to stay here. I want to go home. Then go. Catch the first flight tomorrow and go. Muzaffarpur’s airport is under construction. Then book an emergency train ticket. Are you making fun of me? No dude! I am only advising. Come. Let’s have food. You’ve paid for it, right? Then why waste it? Let’s go. I want Mom’s food. I want to go home. Dude, you are such a drama queen! Now that I am full, I can fight anyone and I can say anything to anyone. So say na. Freedom of speech. But if you want my mouth shut, fill it with Kechunwa. Not Kechunwa. Thekuwa. Same thing. Okay get your bamboo pickle and I will get Thekuwa. It’s called Twaithu. Ya ya right. Pass me one more. What were you saying? That Debbie… She is a complete dash dash dash. What? Understand dude. Dash dash dash. Whatever… dash dash dash… Bloody Bitch! And you? Bitch from Bihar? (Mumbling to herself) Incorrigible… Incorrigible… Incorrigible… You are incorrigible Bitch from Bihar. Sorry… Bloody Bitch!