[intense groaning] I think I did something. Honestly I don’t know at this point anymore, like MAC! Is my mic on?! Oh my God!
[Burping or sounds that resembles a burp] So, I just came back from the gym. That is a lie, I came back from the gym three hours ago because [leg slap] But then I remembered, “Oh yeah, the VMA’s just happened!” so maybe I should talk about that. I went onto Instagram and asked you guys if you wanted me to review the VMA’s, you guys said, “Yeah!” [Painful sigh & face full of regret] So, we’re reviewing the goddamn VMA’s. [In a weird ass voice] The greatest thing I’ve ever done They sucked. I’m just gonna say that right now. They suck. A S S Not even worth sucking dick Also, I have a new camera. Wasn’t even gonna film on this camera this camera is only for like Instagram photos because I’m that bitch now apparently. Do you guys want to know what the camera is or not? I don’t—you guys probably don’t give a shit at all actually. iT’s LiT So, the VMA’s took place in the world today not today. . . When am I uploading this?
[Spoiler: a whole week later] But you know what, let’s go review their attempts [Gay pause] their attempts. That’s all—yep that’s it. Nicki Minaj. There she is. What is she doing— Is she barefoot? Are you barefoot, girl? What’s happening here? No, she’s not barefoot. Is she barefoot? She’s not barefoot. Those are shoes? Is she barefoot? Girl, you barefoot?! I mean, she looks good. I just don’t understand what the skirt— [Gay confusion] —agenda was in the first place? Also, I just noticed the hair. What i—What’s happening? Why—Why is the hair so sharp?? What’s happening here? You can’t even spell Prague! She’s apparently wearing Off-White. I don’t give a crap. Who is—What is that actually? She also looks like, she’s like swatting away the peasants. This is me trying to be funny by the way, guys [Stuttering from the melancholic feelings and wish for death] Do you see why I’m not a comedian? BLAC CHYNA Good Lord~~ AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I mean, it’s nice—looking I just. . . [Mac.exe has stopped working] . . . Never agreed to it. I didn’t give consent. She’s like, it’s like Okay, let’s unpack this. Is she wearing chains? Are these chains? Are there chains?? Why can’t I zoom in? It could be beads. Is she wearing beads? Jennifer Lopez [Gay disappointment] Kay. We’ve seen that many times before. Travis Scott is being Travis Scott. [Wheeze] Kylie got a type. That’s all I’m gonna say here. But he kinda looks like. . . Never mind, I’m not even gonna say it. I’m not even gonna say it. But he kinda looks like Snoop Dogg. I didn’t say it, you did. Audrina Partridge. I don’t know who you are. [Confusion before fear then over it.] But stop. Here we are! Kylie Jenner! There we go. You not wearing pants?? [Weird sound] Honestly, she looks like a detective I would trust. Kevin Hart. Okay, like we get it. Masculinity is important, guys. It make us all dress in overly-sized pants, jackets, and a lot of necklaces to feel like we can pound some vagina any second we please. [Gay man realizes what he just said] [Small gasp] Am I gonna upload this video? [Yes, you did] Blake Lively. [Smiling to hide the ultimate gay confusion, honestly same.] [Stares into your soul a bit more.] [What the fuck hand motion] Where you going?? [Wheeze] Hahahaha! DJ Khalid. We get it. Tiffany Haddish. WOOOOOOO! ooh CHILD! hoohoo what is— WOW! We love a theme We love just putting some Bendaroos©™ on some cloth and goin’ out on the town, honestly?? Ashwanteeeeheeee Wooooooo! She came. She’s here. She ain’t winning anything, but she showed up. We LOVE glitter. Honestly, Michael’s is the place to be. Olivia Munn looks very disturbed at what she is seeing in front of her. She looks like her ex-boyfriend just waltzed into the door right after she sent out a text breaking up with him without knowing that he was gonna show up at the same event. Has that happened to me? Noo. You can’t prove that. Also we love a kitchen counter. [Oof] KAY Anna Kendrick has decided that she [Gay disapproval] Iggy Azalea. Okay. OKAY! I don’t know what to say about this. This is just OKAY! You know?! BDSM is life, honestly? Those boots are probably on a LOT of porn websites right now. Liam Payne. Oh! I just-so many thoughts just went in through my mind right now. SO many things that I would LOVE to share, but I feel like I am not legally allowed to. Just like All I need is two minutes We’re just gonna stop it right there and we’re just gonna move on, okay?? Tyga [Leg slap.] [Le gasp.] [Gay contemplation] Kylie has a type. Hoooolyyyy shit. Are those snakes?! What’s happening? Oh my God. We can see her underwear, first of all. I don’t—like I’m fine with that, I just don’t know if you know. Second of all, go ahead. Go the hell off. Honestly? You came to represent and you represented a 3D gel pen. Millie Bobby Brown is not happy to be around any of these peasants. Girl. The Queen. The queen of the gay. This is a look. Go ahead. You’re also like 14, so I’m not gonna say anything else because Be my friend you know? Let’s go out. NOT Nevermind. Okay? Snookie! Great! Logic! [You could see the disappointment in Mac’s eyes] [Re-evaluating life choices] [re-contemplating sexuality] Am I Bi? Honestly? We love a costume party in August. I’m about that. We can do that any day you want. Any day you please. Any weekend. Come over gurl. Let’s do it. With your consent obviously. Of course. Not—I’m not— This wasn’t a sex joke, but I felt like it ended kinda sexually and I didn’t mean it, but now that it is. . . Consent is important kids. I’m tired. Camila Cabello. Honestly? For a night she knew was gonna be all about her, she didn’t really show out. AH-HA! I’m not putting that in the video. Oh my god. People are gonna come for me. It’s Oscardelarenta, whatever that is, and I know how to say that because of a rap song. He trash. 21 Savage. Is this not Is this not Tyga with just a face tattoo?? I’m sorry. Was that racist? Was that being problematic? biiiiiiiiitch Okay, so first of all, this entire thing stopped recording. I don’t know when it stopped. I wasn’t paying attention and for that I am so sorry. You know what, we’re gonna go back, we’re gonna back track, we’re gonna doooo… Hayley Kiyoko. We’re gonna start with Hayley Kiyoko. I already reviewed her, but we’re gonna redo this because I’m trash. Hayley Kiyoko. Ohhh my god. This is my first time seeing this. Holy shit. [LESBIAN QUEEN!!!] She looks like a gothic fairy godmother. First time saying that. Like if Cinderella and Twenty One Pilots made a movie together. [Yass] Here she is. Great. Awesome. Next person. Pete Davidson & Ariana Grande. Oh my gawd. First Time expression!!! They’re just—I just can—We Can I, like, touch them once? That was rude. Pfft. Like we—I don’t even care about what they’re wearing I just want to hold them for like a second. Honestly? We love a space princess with her man with some big ass lips and a big ass dic— [Mac crying for not being lucky enough like Ariana] Cardi B. Out here lookin’ like a CEO. Honestly? Somebody’s auntie who got all this money and no kids. We need this. But I need to finish. But first let’s talk about Shawn Mendes. Where’s Shawn Mendes? I just need to see a Shawn Mendes. I need to see a Shawn Mendes and then I’m gonna end this video. That’s all I care about. SHAWN MENDES. WOOOOO! WAIT A MINUTE??? [Uncontrolled cackling] Wait a darn diddly second! Did this boy just show OUT?! Did this boy just SHOW UP for a quick second?! Did this boy just like decide it’s time to play?? Is he here rolling the dice?? Kay with that texture with that green with that shine with that FACE. Honestly that face… [Gay fantasies] [More gay fantasies coming to Mac] Woowwww I’m gay. Okay we’re done. I’m gonna put you down and then we’re gonna finish this. Okay wait there’s Lil Xan and Noah Cyrus. Okay no we’re not gonna talk about that. We’re just gonna put you down… And that’s that! That’s the VMA’s. I have no idea who you guys saw me review and who you guys saw me not review. I will see that in editing and maybe if I have time, add on to them. We all know that wasn’t gonna happen. Kay great. What did we learn today kids? That I should not record with a different camera. Honestly? I don’t know this life. I feel like this is very high quality or either very shitty quality. I don’t know. Try to mess with the settings. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know where it took me, but. . . [It took you really far] [far away from us] No one gives a shit, right? What did you guys think of the fashion from the VMA’s? The vamuhs? The Vamaaahhhs. And where the hell was BTS? Wait a minute. Where the hell was K-POP in general. Why was there no K-POP at the Video Music Awards when their music videos get like 10 billion views in like the first hour? Who are we fooling right now? My name’s Mac and don’t forget to like, comment, and subscri-be! BWAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH [outro music]